Breaking the Silence: A Journey Through Men’s Mental Health
As a BACP Registered Male Counsellor, I've witnessed firsthand the transformative power of therapy for men. My personal journey to counselling in my 40s was not a straightforward one, and it's a story I believe resonates with many men who struggle to seek help.
The Reluctant Path to Therapy
Like many men, I didn't seek out therapy voluntarily. It was my wife who urged me to visit my GP, concerned about my anxiety, depression, and eventual burnout. Working in a toxic environment that challenged my ethics as an HR professional, I had become accustomed to being the problem-solver, neglecting my own self-care and losing touch with my core values.
The initial steps were challenging. Prescribed sertraline, I experienced heightened anxiety and, for the first time, suicidal thoughts due to incorrect usage. This experience underscores the importance of proper medical guidance and the potential pitfalls of medication without adequate support.
Breaking Through Barriers
My journey in therapy was initially passive. I approached it as something "done to me" rather than an active process. However, by the fourth session, I found myself in tears, finally opening up to a non-judgmental, patient therapist who created a safe space for vulnerability.
This experience aligns with recent research highlighting the importance of creating supportive environments for men in therapy. Dr. Zac Seidler from Movember emphasises the need to co-design solutions with men, fostering a sense of ownership in the therapeutic process (Seidler et al., 2018).
Redefining Masculinity and Mental Health
As I progressed in therapy, I realised that my issues extended beyond work stress. The changing dynamics with my father, who had been diagnosed with dementia, played a significant role in my mental state. This revelation helped me realign with my core values and consider future possibilities. Dr. Dwight Turner's insights resonate here, noting that many men are beginning to recognise the limitations of traditional masculinity. This shift allows for embracing qualities like kindness and gentleness, often suppressed by societal expectations (Turner, 2021).
The Importance of Self-Care
It wasn't until I began studying psychotherapy that I fully grasped the significance of self-care. This goes beyond attending therapy sessions; it involves recognising triggers, stepping back when necessary, and maintaining a routine of enriching activities. As a therapist, I've learned that self-care is not self-indulgent but essential for navigating life's challenges and maintaining healthy relationships.
Challenges Men Face in Seeking Mental Health Support
Research consistently shows that men are less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues (Seidler et al., 2016). This reluctance stems from various factors deeply rooted in societal norms and expectations of masculinity:
Stigma and Masculine Norms: Traditional masculine ideals often emphasise strength, self-reliance, and emotional stoicism. These norms can make men feel that seeking help is a sign of weakness (Addis and Mahalik, 2003).
Emotional Literacy: Many men struggle with identifying and expressing emotions, a skill crucial for effective therapy. This difficulty can be traced back to socialisation patterns that discourage emotional expression in boys (Levant et al., 2009).
Fear of Vulnerability: The therapeutic process often requires opening up about personal struggles, which can feel threatening to men who have been conditioned to maintain a facade of strength (Seidler et al., 2018).
Misconceptions About Therapy: There's often a lack of understanding about what therapy entails, leading to misconceptions that it's only for "serious" mental illnesses or that it involves endless sessions of childhood analysis (Vogel et al., 2011).
Preference for Self-Reliance: Many men prefer to handle problems on their own, viewing help-seeking as a last resort rather than a proactive step towards well-being (Yousaf et al., 2015).
Diverse Approaches to Men’s Mental Health
In my practice, I've observed that while traditional talking therapies can be effective for many men, a range of interventions is crucial. This realisation led to my involvement with the Compassion Collective and the True North Collective, organisations aimed at providing affordable and accessible mental health support.
Recent research supports this approach. A study by Seidler et al. (2018) found that men often prefer action-oriented therapies, problem-solving approaches, and group-based interventions. These formats can feel more congruent with masculine norms while still providing the necessary support.
Innovative Strategies for Engaging Men
To address these challenges, mental health professionals and organizations are developing innovative strategies:
Male-Friendly Language: Using terms like "coaching" or "training" instead of "therapy" can make services more appealing to men who are wary of traditional mental health labels (Seidler et al., 2018).
Technology-Based Interventions: Online platforms and apps can provide a less intimidating entry point for men to explore mental health resources (Ellis et al., 2020).
Community-Based Programs: Initiatives like men's sheds or sports-based mental health programs create spaces where men can connect and discuss mental health in familiar, comfortable settings (Vella et al., 2021). The True North Collective based in Keighley is a perfect example of this.
Workplace Interventions: Given that many men spend significant time at work, workplace mental health programs can be an effective way to reach this demographic (LaMontagne et al., 2014).
A Call to Action
If you're in the Aire and Worth Valley area and feel you need support, visit www.richardpiercetherapy.com to learn more about my counselling services and the Compassion Collective. For those interested in peer support, check out The True North Collective, which offers bespoke groups for men, women, and mixed groups at the Woodville Community Project in Keighley.
To potential donors and grant-funding bodies: Your support can make a significant difference in providing affordable mental health services to our community. Please consider contributing to these vital initiatives.
Conclusion
Remember, investing in your mental health is not just for you—it benefits everyone around you. It's okay to dip in and out of therapy as needed; life's changes may impact us all adversely at times.
As we continue to challenge the narrative around masculinity and mental health, it's crucial to create spaces where men feel comfortable seeking help. Whether through one-on-one therapy, peer support groups, or other interventions, the key is to take that first step towards better mental health.
References and Further Reading
Addis, M.E. and Mahalik, J.R., 2003. Men, masculinity, and the contexts of help seeking. American psychologist, 58(1), p.5.
Ellis, L.A., Collin, P., Hurley, P.J., Davenport, T.A., Burns, J.M. and Hickie, I.B., 2013. Young men's attitudes and behaviour in relation to mental health and technology: implications for the development of online mental health services. BMC psychiatry, 13(1), pp.1-10.
LaMontagne, A.D., Martin, A., Page, K.M., Reavley, N.J., Noblet, A.J., Milner, A.J., Keegel, T. and Smith, P.M., 2014. Workplace mental health: developing an integrated intervention approach. BMC psychiatry, 14(1), pp.1-11.
Levant, R.F., Good, G.E., Cook, S.W., O'Neil, J.M., Smalley, K.B., Owen, K. and Richmond, K., 2006. The normative Male Alexithymia Scale: Measurement of a gender-linked syndrome. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 7(4), p.212.
Seidler, Z.E., Dawes, A.J., Rice, S.M., Oliffe, J.L. and Dhillon, H.M., 2016. The role of masculinity in men's help-seeking for depression: A systematic review. Clinical psychology review, 49, pp.106-118.
Seidler, Z.E., Rice, S.M., Ogrodniczuk, J.S., Oliffe, J.L. and Dhillon, H.M., 2018. Engaging men in psychological treatment: A scoping review. American journal of men's health, 12(6), pp.1882-1900.
Turner, D., 2021. Intersections of Privilege and Otherness in Counselling and Psychotherapy: Mockingbird. Routledge.
Vella, S.A., Swann, C., Boydell, K.M., Eckermann, S., Fogarty, A., Hurley, D., Liddle, S.K., Lonsdale, C., Sanders, T., Schweickle, M.J. and Telenta, J., 2019. Sports-based mental health promotion in Australia: formative evaluation. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 45, p.101560.
