Building Resilience and Community: The Importance of Role Models and Shared Experiences for Men's Mental Health

The Crisis Facing Young Men Today

In today's rapidly changing world, young men face unprecedented challenges that test their resilience, self-belief, and sense of purpose. Drawing inspiration from Gareth Southgate's thought-provoking Richard Dimbleby Lecture, we at True North Collective (TNC) recognise the critical need for spaces where men can discover their identity, build meaningful connections, and contribute to society in impactful ways.

Southgate's lecture highlighted a deeply concerning trend: young men are increasingly feeling isolated, grappling with their masculinity, and struggling to find their place in society. This crisis is evident across various metrics, including education, employment, and health outcomes.

The Centre for Social Justice's recent report, "Lost Boys", echoes these concerns, describing nothing short of a crisis facing boys and young men across the UK. Their research reveals that young men are falling behind in almost every important metric of societal success. Most alarmingly, suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50 in the UK – a heartbreaking statistic that underscores the urgent need for intervention and support.

The Digital Age and Its Impact

One of the key challenges identified by both Southgate and contemporary research is the unrelenting impact of social media and digital technology on young people's lives. As Southgate eloquently put it, "Today, young people are bombarded by information at all times of the day from a device that fits neatly into the palm of their hand, and updates by the second. They're targeted with images of the perfect body, the perfect career and the perfect life, a beautifully crafted highlights reel where success appears to be instant and effortless."

This constant exposure to curated perfection has created an environment where young men compare themselves not just to peers in their immediate surroundings, but to idealised versions of success from across the globe. The result is often a deep sense of inadequacy and a fear of failure that can paralyse rather than motivate.

Recent polling cited by Southgate found that the majority of 16-24 year olds believe social media has become more toxic and addictive in the past five years, negatively impacting their mental health, sleep, attention span, and ability to work or study.

The 'Epidemic of Fatherlessness'

Perhaps one of the most striking revelations from the Centre for Social Justice report is what they term an "epidemic of fatherlessness". The report highlights how 2.5 million children in the UK have no father figure at home, noting that boys are more likely now to own a smartphone than to live with their dad.

Southgate reflected on this reality, acknowledging that while having a father figure at home is ideal, it's not the only way for boys to find positive male role models. However, as community centres close, sports facilities become less accessible, and community events dwindle, young men have fewer opportunities to meet traditional role models like coaches, youth workers, and teachers.

In this void, many young men turn to online spaces, searching for direction and meaning. Unfortunately, this often leads them to unhealthy alternatives like excessive gaming, gambling, and pornography, or worse, to toxic influencers who, as Southgate describes, "willingly trick young men into believing that success is measured by money or dominance, never showing emotion, and that the world, including women, is against them."

The Power of Failure and Resilience

One of the key messages from Southgate's lecture is the importance of experiencing and overcoming failure. He argues that young boys need to "fail often and learn fast" to build resilience. This process of falling, getting back up, and trying again is crucial for developing the mental fortitude needed to face life's challenges.

"In my opinion," Southgate states, "if we make life too easy for young boys now, we will inevitably make life harder when they grow up to be young men."

At TNC, we embrace this philosophy wholeheartedly. Our programmes and activities are designed to create a safe environment where men can push their boundaries, take risks, and learn from both successes and failures. We believe that it's through these experiences that true growth and resilience are fostered.

Southgate emphasises the difference between "trying and failing" rather than "failing to try". This mindset is at the core of what we do at TNC. We encourage men to step out of their comfort zones, try new things, and learn from every experience.

Building Identity, Connection, and Culture

Southgate outlines three key foundations for building belief and resilience: identity, connection, and culture. Each of these elements is as important to wider society as they were to the England football team under his leadership.

Identity

A crucial aspect of mental health and resilience is having a strong sense of identity. Southgate talks about the importance of understanding "who am I?" and "who are we?" in building both individual and collective identity.

At TNC, we encourage men to explore these questions for themselves. Through our various programmes and activities, men have the opportunity to discover new skills, contribute to meaningful projects, and find their place within a supportive community. This process of self-discovery can be transformative, helping men build a stronger sense of self and purpose.

As Southgate reflected about his time with the England team: "We shared personal stories. We talked about our country, the football legends who came before us and our place in history. By the end, we knew who we were, a proud, diverse, resilient team that stood up for each other and was ready to write our own chapter."

Connection

Southgate emphasises the critical role of connection in building belief and resilience. He states, "No matter how talented you are as an individual, success is impossible without the right people around you". This sentiment resonates deeply with our mission at TNC.

We strive to create a community where men can form authentic connections, share their experiences, and support one another. Through peer support groups, outdoor activities, and volunteering opportunities, we provide multiple avenues for men to build camaraderie and develop a sense of belonging.

Research strongly supports the importance of social connections for mental health. A study by Holt-Lunstad et al. (2010) found that strong social relationships were associated with a 50% increased likelihood of survival. At TNC, we're not just building a community; we're creating a support network that can significantly impact men's wellbeing and longevity.

As Southgate pointed out, "Real connection, the kind that gives you belief and resilience is becoming harder, not easier, to find. You can have millions of followers online and not one person to turn to when you really need help."

Culture

Southgate defines culture simply as "how we do things around here" – made up of hundreds of small behaviours and actions that shape the overall environment.

At TNC, we're committed to creating a culture where values matter: courage, humility, and integrity over selfishness, greed, and arrogance. We believe that the culture we create today will shape the kind of men we become tomorrow.

As Southgate said, "We all have the power to create that culture, small actions at an individual level, ladder up to something far bigger at a societal level. That's how we can make changes in our schools, in our workplaces, in our communities, and yes, in our nation as well."

The Importance of Role Models

Both the Centre for Social Justice report and Southgate's lecture highlight the declining presence of traditional role models in young men's lives. At TNC, we recognise the power of mentorship and role modelling. Our community brings together men from diverse backgrounds and experiences, creating opportunities for organic mentorship relationships to form. We believe that every man has something valuable to offer, whether it's life experience, professional skills, or simply a listening ear.

Southgate's own experiences illustrate the importance of mentors and role models. He speaks of Alan Smith, his youth coach at Crystal Palace, "who wasn't afraid to challenge me, not because he wanted me to fail, but because he wanted me to succeed", and of Stuart Pearce, who supported him after his devastating penalty miss in Euro 96.

Redefining Success

A crucial aspect of building resilience in young men is redefining what success means. As Southgate eloquently argues, even in professional sport, winning a trophy isn't the only marker of success. "If I've learned anything from my life in football," he says, "it's that success is about much more than the final score. It isn't a straight line, and it's not a single moment."

At TNC, we celebrate the journey as much as the destination. We recognise that true success is how you respond in the hardest moments – it's about having the belief and resilience to persevere when things get tough.

Southgate points to examples like Harry Kane, who was released by Arsenal as a youth player but went on to become England's record goal scorer, and Ollie Watkins, who started in non-league football before scoring the winning goal in England's Euro 2024 semi-final against Holland. As Southgate puts it, Watkins was "an overnight success after 20 years".

Join Us in Building Something Meaningful

As Southgate suggests, now is the perfect time to get involved with True North Collective. We're in the exciting phase of building and shaping our community, and we need your help. Whether it's assisting in creating shared spaces for future activities, promoting our services, clearing outdoor spaces, or generating ideas for new initiatives, your contribution is valuable.

At TNC, we welcome you as you are. We value what you can contribute, recognising that everyone has unique skills and experiences to offer. We may not always get it right, but as Southgate says, it's important to try and learn from the challenges, failures, and wins.

In conclusion, True North Collective is more than just a support group or activity centre. We're building a community where men can discover their identity, build resilience, form meaningful connections, and contribute to society in impactful ways. By embracing the principles of trying, failing, learning, and supporting one another, we're creating a space where men can truly thrive.

Join us on this journey. Together, we can build something truly meaningful and make a positive impact on men's mental health and wellbeing.

References:

• Centre for Social Justice. (2024). Lost Boys: The Crisis Facing Boys and Young Men.

• Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review. PLoS medicine, 7(7), e1000316.

• Southgate, G. (2025). Richard Dimbleby Lecture. BBC.

Unravelling My Family Scripts: A Personal Journey Through Psychodynamics and Genealogy

The Mirror of Practice

Within my own counselling practice, I've witnessed a number of transformations as clients courageously explore their childhood memories to unlock past experiences. These journeys into personal history often provide profound insights and positive steps forward for those seeking answers. I've observed how understanding family scripts can liberate clients from patterns they never consciously chose.

In working with a previous client, this pricked my conscience if I routinely invite clients to examine their past, shouldn't I be equally prepared to explore my own? I’ve not done this proactively since my own studies into family systems therapy. This question has become increasingly poignant over the past year, following my dad’s passing. It has marked a transition point—a moment when family history suddenly feels more urgent and precious.

When a close friend's mother passed away recently, it cemented my conviction that understanding our family histories is profoundly important. These narratives help us piece together our place in the world, learn from generations before us, and shape what we aspire to for our futures. The professional has become personal through a deepening recognition of the power of these connections.

The Privilege of Being a Keeper of Stories

Now, my mum stands as the primary living connection to our family's past, with my elder sister holding significant pieces of our shared history as well. Their stories and memories represent an irreplaceable archive—one that, if not gathered and preserved, could disappear forever. This realisation has motivated me to begin documenting our family narrative whilst these precious resources remain accessible.

As a therapist, I'm acutely aware of how family scripts—those unwritten rules, expectations, and patterns of behaviour passed through generations—influence how we perceive ourselves and navigate relationships. They operate beneath the surface of our conscious awareness, shaping our decisions and reactions in subtle yet powerful ways (Duke et al., 2008). I hope I have in turn helped to guide clients through the process of identifying and understanding these scripts, yet I've only recently begun applying this framework to my own life.

Professional Insight, Personal Application

Psychodynamic approaches have always formed a part of my practice—the understanding that our early family experiences fundamentally shape who we become. Recent research into intergenerational trauma suggests these experiences transmit across generations through both psychological mechanisms and potentially even biological factors (Fossion et al., 2015).

In my counselling work, I've seen how understanding family background provides clients with valuable context for their present experiences. When clients gain insights into their family history, they often discover both challenges and strengths that have been passed down through generations. This professional experience has sparked my curiosity about my own family's journey through time. What positive traditions have been maintained in our family? What resilience and wisdom have previous generations demonstrated that might still offer guidance today?

Beginning the Journey of Discovery

For many clients, their genealogical journey begins modestly—perhaps with a casual conversation about family history or an old photograph that sparks curiosity. Initially, these explorations often focus on basic information: names, dates, and occupations of ancestors. However, these investigations may evolve into something far richer and more meaningful.

Clients can discover stories of resilience during challenging historical periods, tales of romance that crossed social boundaries, accounts of migrations driven by economic necessity, and anecdotes revealing characteristic family traits that they recognise in themselves today. This recognition of patterns and traits can be particularly illuminating for clients seeking to understand themselves better.

What makes genealogical exploration particularly valuable is the multiple perspectives it incorporates. When clients engage with different family members, they encounter varied memories and interpretations of shared experiences. These differing viewpoints often fill gaps in understanding and create a more nuanced picture of family history—a tapestry woven from documented facts, personal memories, and family folklore.

While family trees and timelines provide important frameworks, equally valuable are the spontaneous revelations that emerge from photographs, heirlooms, or seemingly unrelated conversations. Through working with clients interested in their family histories, I've come to appreciate that genealogical research is as much about patience and presence as it is about documentation and verification.

The Therapeutic Value of Family History

The Therapeutic Benefits of Family History Exploration

When clients engage in exploring their family histories, they may experience significant therapeutic benefits. These explorations frequently lead to moments of revelation and healing that can transform their self-understanding and relationships.

Understanding the origins of family patterns can provide valuable context for current behaviours. For example, uncovering stories of resilience—learning about ancestors who rebuilt lives after significant losses, overcame discrimination, or adapted to new cultures—can strengthen a client's sense of self-efficacy. Research has shown that connecting to family narratives of perseverance can bolster psychological resilience (Duke et al., 2008). These narratives of resilience become resources clients can draw upon during their own challenging times.

The Power of Memory Anchors in Family History Exploration

From a practical perspective, I've witnessed firsthand how powerful visual anchors can be in accessing family memories. When my father and aunt were both living with dementia, I discovered that looking through old photographs with them created remarkable moments of connection. While they struggled to remember what had happened just ten minutes earlier—an experience that was increasingly frustrating and frightening for them both—these visual portals to the past triggered vivid recollections.

A faded photograph of a childhood home or a family gathering would suddenly illuminate their faces with recognition. They would share detailed stories about events that had occurred decades earlier, often with remarkable clarity and emotion. These moments created a bridge between us, allowing them to engage more fully in the present through their connection to the past—much like how hearing a favourite teenage song can transport any of us back to a specific memory with extraordinary detail.

For clients exploring their family histories, this experience suggests several practical approaches:

• Using visual prompts like photographs, heirlooms, or familiar locations to trigger memories when interviewing older family members

• Asking specific, open-ended questions about the people and places in these visual anchors

• Creating timelines that place family events in historical context

• Documenting stories through recordings, journals, or digital archives

• Exploring family patterns with patience and compassion, recognizing that memory works in non-linear ways

The therapeutic value lies not in constructing a perfect chronological history, but in the moments of connection and understanding that emerge. These explorations can lead to greater empathy for older generations, improved family relationships across generations, and a more nuanced appreciation of the complex forces that have shaped one's family identity across time.

Building Bridges Through Shared History

Perhaps the most unexpected benefit of this genealogical exploration has been its effect on my current family relationships. As I've engaged my mother and sister in this project, our connections have deepened. There's something profoundly bonding about exploring our shared past together.

Our conversations have transcended the usual topics of daily life, opening doors to discussions we might never have had otherwise—about values that have been passed down through generations, about the emotional legacies we've inherited, about the ways in which our family has adapted to societal changes over time.

These discussions haven't always been comfortable. We've encountered family secrets, disagreements about how events transpired, and painful memories that had been suppressed. But navigating these challenges together has strengthened our relationships. We've practiced listening to each other's perspectives, holding space for difficult emotions, and collaboratively making sense of our shared history.

Creating a Legacy for Future Generations

As my project has evolved, I've become increasingly aware that I'm creating something that will outlast me—a gift for my nieces that connects them to their roots. In an era characterised by mobility, technological change, and rapid social transformation, understanding where one comes from can provide a sense of stability and continuity.

My hope is that by documenting our family history, I'm providing my nieces with resources that will help them navigate their own lives with greater awareness and compassion. Perhaps understanding the patterns that have shaped our family will help them make more conscious choices about which traditions to maintain and which to transform. Perhaps knowing the challenges their ancestors overcame will strengthen their resilience when facing their own difficulties.

This aspect of the project has given it a sense of purpose that transcends personal curiosity. I'm not just exploring the past; I'm creating a bridge between generations—preserving stories that might otherwise be lost and making them accessible to those who will come after me.

Practical Approaches to Family Exploration

For those inspired to embark on their own genealogical journeys, I offer some approaches that have proved valuable in my experience:

1. Begin with the living: Start by interviewing older family members. Their memories are precious resources that can't be replaced once they're gone. Record these conversations if possible, both to preserve the information and to capture the unique cadence and character of their voices.

2. Use prompts: Sometimes direct questions about family history yield limited responses. Instead, try using photographs, heirlooms, or locations as prompts. "Tell me about this photograph" or "What do you remember about this house?" can elicit rich narratives.

3. Create a visual representation: Developing a family tree or timeline can provide structure for your exploration and help identify gaps in your knowledge. It can also reveal patterns that might not be apparent from individual stories.

4. Contextualise personal stories: Research the historical events and social conditions that shaped your ancestors' lives. Understanding the broader context can provide insight into their choices and experiences.

5. Acknowledge multiple perspectives: Different family members may have divergent memories or interpretations of the same events. Rather than seeking a single "correct" version, value these differences as representing the complexity of family experience.

6. Be gentle with secrets: Family histories often contain secrets—some protective, others harmful. Approach these with sensitivity, recognising that decisions about what to reveal should be made thoughtfully.

7. Notice patterns: Look for recurring themes, traits, or relationships across generations. These patterns can reveal family scripts that may continue to influence current generations.

8. Create a shareable record: Consider how you'll preserve and share what you learn. This might take the form of a written narrative, a digital archive, a physical album, or regular family storytelling sessions.

A Journey Without End

What began as a simple inquiry into my family history will I hope evolve into an ongoing practice of discovery and integration.

Understanding our family scripts is not a project to be completed but a process to be engaged with throughout our lives. As we grow and change, we bring new perspectives to old stories. As we face new challenges, we may find new relevance in ancestral experiences.

Exploring the past isn't about dwelling in history but about liberating ourselves to move forward with greater awareness and choice.

References

Duke, M.P., Lazarus, A. and Fivush, R. (2008). Knowledge of family history as a clinically useful index of psychological well-being and prognosis: A brief report. Psychotherapy Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 45(2), pp.268-272.

Fivush, R., Bohanek, J.G. and Zaman, W. (2011). Personal and intergenerational narratives in relation to adolescents' well‐being. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 2011(131), pp.45-57.

Fossion, P., Leys, C., Vandeleur, C., Kempenaers, C., Braun, S., Verbanck, P. and Linkowski, P. (2015). Transgenerational transmission of trauma in families of Holocaust survivors: The consequences of extreme family functioning on resilience, sense of coherence, anxiety and depression. Journal of Affective Disorders, 171, pp.48-53.

Healthline. (n.d.). Intergenerational Trauma: What It Is and How to Heal. [online] Available at: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/intergenerational-trauma [Accessed 18 Mar. 2025].

Integrative Psychotherapy: Making Sense of Mental Health Support

Hi, I'm Richard. Let's be honest – when people hear terms like "integrative psychotherapy" or "psychodynamic approach", it can sound like confusing professional jargon that pushes people away from seeking help. The language we use to describe therapy can be a real barrier, making something helpful feel complicated and intimidating.

Cutting Through the Complexity

Therapeutic approaches can sound like gobbledegook. Words like "person-centred", "humanistic", and "psychodynamic" might mean little to someone simply looking for support. So, let me break it down in a way that actually makes sense.

What Does Integrative Therapy Really Mean?

My approach draws from multiple therapeutic methods – including Gestalt, Existential, Person-centred, Relational, and Attachment Theory. But here's the important bit: I don't use these approaches like a rigid checklist. Every person is different, and my primary focus is always on building trust and understanding what you specifically need.

Think of it like being a cook. I have multiple ingredients and techniques at my disposal, but I don't throw every single one into every dish. Instead, I carefully select what will work best for you.

My Therapeutic Toolkit

I might use:

• Gestalt techniques to help you understand your present experiences

• Existential approaches to explore your sense of meaning

• Person-centred methods to create a supportive, non-judgmental space

• Transactional Analysis (PAC - Parent, Adult, Child) to understand your communication patterns

• Attachment theory to explore how past relationships impact your current experiences

Crucially, I don't apply these mechanically. Our first step is always about creating a safe space where you feel heard and understood. 

Why This Approach Matters

Integrative psychotherapy is particularly powerful because it recognises that mental health challenges are rarely simple or isolated. A person struggling with depression might simultaneously experience anxiety, relationship difficulties, and low self-esteem. My approach allows us to address these interconnected issues holistically.

The Science Behind the Approach

This isn't just a theoretical concept. Robust research demonstrates the real-world impact of integrative therapy:

• Studies on Integrated Psychological Therapy (IPT) have shown significant improvements in neurocognition, social functioning, and overall mental health management¹

• Another comprehensive study found that 64% of participants experienced meaningful, clinically reliable changes through integrated therapy²

What Therapy Really Looks Like

Therapy isn't about being "fixed". It's about finding ways to cope, understanding yourself better, and developing strategies that work for you. Whether you're dealing with work stress, relationship issues, or just feeling stuck, we'll work together to find practical solutions.

My Personal Journey

As someone who's switched careers and navigated personal challenges, I understand that life isn't straightforward. My background in HR and personal experiences of caring for a parent with dementia have shown me that everyone faces difficulties—and it takes real courage to seek support.

What I Offer

I provide:

• A straightforward, no-nonsense approach

• Practical strategies tailored to your specific situation

• A space where you can speak openly without judgment

• Support that respects your individual needs

The Broader Impact

Integrative psychotherapy stands out because of its flexibility and comprehensive nature. By combining multiple therapeutic techniques, we can:

• Address complex, interconnected mental health issues

• Create personalised treatment plans

• Adapt to both short-term and long-term support needs

• Enhance personal resilience and coping strategies

Getting Started

Starting therapy can feel intimidating. That's why I offer a free 15-minute consultation. It's a chance to chat, ask questions, and see if we might work well together. No pressure, no obligation.

I currently offer sessions online and in-person in Skipton, North Yorkshire.

Why Seek Support?

Life can be challenging. Work pressures, relationship difficulties, personal setbacks—these aren't signs of weakness. They're part of being human. Therapy is simply a way to develop better tools for managing these challenges.

 As a BACP-registered therapist, I bring professional training, lived experience, and a commitment to ongoing learning. My goal is to provide accessible, practical support that helps you move forward.

References

1. Evans, C., et al. (2000). CORE: Clinical Outcomes in Routine Evaluation. Journal of Mental Health, 9(3), 247-255.

2. Miscioscia, M., et al. (2023). Integrated focal psychotherapy: Results from a retrospective study. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 945644.

3. Müller, D.R., Roder, V. & Brenner, H.D. (2011). Effectiveness of Integrated Psychological Therapy (IPT) for schizophrenia patients: a research update. Schizophrenia Bulletin, 37(suppl_2), S71-S79.

4. Wachtel, P.L. (1977). Psychoanalysis and behaviour therapy: Toward an integration. Basic Books.

Breaking the Silence: A Personal and Professional Perspective on Integrative Therapy

As both a therapist and someone who has themselves reluctantly sought mental health support, I hope and can bring a unique perspective to the conversation about therapeutic approaches. My journey from NHS Management to becoming a therapist, catalysed for having to halt my career by caring for my father through his dementia until his passing last year, has deeply informed my understanding of the transformative power of integrative therapy.

Today mental health concerns are increasingly prevalent, yet many individuals remain hesitant to seek professional help. As a 52-year-old male therapist, I've experienced firsthand the statistics that Blom (2025) highlights - that men, particularly those aged 25-54, are significantly less likely to seek mental health support compared to women. The study found that 40% of men with symptoms of depression felt they had no need for mental healthcare, compared to only 25% of women (Blom, 2025).

My own experience with NHS talking therapy, whilst well-intentioned, left me frustrated with the constant "how do you feel?" questions when I wasn't entirely sure of my feelings, and the homework assignments of tracking triggering situations in notebooks felt more burdensome than helpful. This experience shaped my approach to integrative therapy, which combines person-centred, psychodynamic, and relational approaches to offer a more nuanced and effective solution for those sceptical of traditional therapeutic methods (Cooper, 2021).

What I've found, both personally and professionally, is that authentic listening and genuine human connection often prove more valuable than rigid therapeutic frameworks. Whilst I don't dismiss behavioural approaches or strict person-centred methods, my practice is built on the foundation of being present and responsive in a way that acknowledges the unique complexity of each individual's experience. This aligns with the American Psychological Association's (2012) recognition that flexibility and adaptability in therapeutic approaches are crucial for effective treatment.

For men who may be hesitant to engage in therapy, as I once was, integrative approaches can offer a more accessible entry point. By incorporating elements of psychodynamic therapy, which explores unconscious processes and early life experiences, we can help men gain deeper insights into the root causes of their struggles (Talk to Evolve Counselling, 2024). My personal experience of navigating career change and grief whilst caring for my father has given me a profound understanding of the challenges men face in expressing vulnerability and seeking support.

The person-centred aspect of integrative therapy emphasises empathy, unconditional positive regard, and authenticity in the therapeutic relationship. This non-judgmental environment, which I strive to create in every session, helps clients feel more comfortable opening up about their experiences and emotions, fostering a sense of trust and safety that is crucial for effective therapy (UK Council for Psychotherapy, n.d.).

Research consistently supports the efficacy of this approach. A comprehensive meta-analysis by Cuijpers et al. (2013) found that psychotherapy is at least as effective as medication in addressing most mental health concerns, with the added benefit of longer-lasting effects and a lower risk of relapse after treatment ends. For those concerned about the severity of their issues, as I once was, it's worth noting that studies have demonstrated that psychotherapy can be even more effective for individuals with high-severity depression compared to those with low-severity symptoms (Cuijpers et al., 2013).

Within my practice, I recognise that traditional therapeutic approaches don't resonate with everyone. My personal journey through career transition, caregiving, and grief has taught me the importance of meeting clients where they are, rather than forcing them into predetermined therapeutic frameworks. This understanding shapes my integrative approach, which draws from various modalities whilst maintaining a focus on authentic human connection and genuine understanding.

References

• American Psychological Association (2012) 'Resolution on the Recognition of Psychotherapy Effectiveness', Available at: https://www.apa.org/about/policy/resolution-psychotherapy (Accessed: 17 February 2025).

• Blom, S. (2025) 'Men's greater reluctance to seek mental healthcare', University of Gothenburg, Available at: https://www.gu.se/en/news/mens-greater-reluctance-to-seek-mental-healthcare (Accessed: 17 February 2025).

• Cooper, M. (2021) 'How to Explain Integrative Practices: A Directional Account', Available at: https://mick-cooper.squarespace.com/new-blog/2021/4/10/how-to-explain-integrative-practices-a-directional-account (Accessed: 17 February 2025).

• Cuijpers, P., et al. (2013) 'The efficacy of psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy in treating depressive and anxiety disorders: a meta-analysis of direct comparisons', World Psychiatry, 12(2), pp. 137-148.

• Talk to Evolve Counselling (2024) 'Exploring the Benefits of Integrative Counselling: A Holistic Approach to Mental Health', Available at: https://www.talktoevolve.com/post/exploring-the-benefits-of-integrative-counselling-a-holistic-approach-to-mental-health (Accessed: 17 February 2025).

• UK Council for Psychotherapy (n.d.) 'Psychotherapy evidence', Available at: https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/policy-and-research/research/psychotherapy-evidence/ (Accessed: 17 February 2025).

Understanding Your Attachment Style: A Guide to Relationships and Mental Health

Attachment styles play a crucial role in shaping our relationships and overall mental well-being. This handout will provide you with an overview of attachment theory, the different attachment styles, their impact on relationships and mental health, and recommendations for further exploration.

What are Attachment Styles?

Attachment styles refer to patterns of bonding that people learn as children and carry into their adult relationships. These styles influence how we perceive and deal with emotional intimacy, communicate our needs, respond to conflict, and form expectations about our partners and relationships.

The Four Attachment Styles

1. Secure Attachment

• Comfortable with intimacy and independence

• Able to balance dependence and autonomy in relationships

• Positive view of self and others

1. Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment (Anxious in children)

• Craves intimacy and can be overly dependent

• May be demanding in relationships

• Fears rejection and abandonment

1. Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment (Avoidant in children)

• Values independence highly

• May appear detached or uninterested in close relationships

• Strong sense of self-sufficiency

1. Fearful-Avoidant Attachment (Disorganised in children)

• Desires close relationships but fears vulnerability

• May behave unpredictably due to internal conflict

• Struggles with trusting others

How Attachment Styles Present in Relationships

Secure Attachment

• Comfortable with closeness and independence

• Effective communication of emotions and needs

• Ability to listen and understand partner's needs

• Positive expectations about relationships

• Constructive approach to conflict resolution

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

• Intense desire for closeness and intimacy

• Fear of abandonment and rejection

• May appear clingy or demanding

• Hypervigilant to signs of distance or withdrawal

• Tendency to seek constant reassurance

 Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment

• Discomfort with emotional intimacy

• Preference for independence and self-reliance

• May appear emotionally distant or unavailable

• Difficulty expressing feelings or needs

• Tendency to withdraw during conflicts

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

• Conflicting desires for intimacy and independence

• Fear of both closeness and abandonment

• Unpredictable behaviour in relationships

• Difficulty trusting partners

• May alternate between clingy and distant behaviours

 Impact on Relationships and Mental Health

Positive Impacts

• Secure attachment promotes healthy, stable relationships

• Understanding your attachment style can lead to personal growth

• Awareness of attachment patterns can improve communication

Potential Challenges

• Insecure attachment styles may lead to relationship difficulties

• Anxious and avoidant styles can contribute to emotional distress

• Unresolved attachment issues may impact mental health and self-esteem

Origins of Attachment Theory

Attachment theory was developed by John Bowlby in the 1950s and further expanded by Mary Ainsworth in the 1970s. Bowlby proposed that early childhood experiences with caregivers form the basis for how individuals approach relationships throughout their lives. Ainsworth's research, including the famous "Strange Situation" experiment, helped identify and classify different attachment styles in children.

Attachment Styles in Adulthood

In the late 1980s, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver extended attachment theory to adult romantic relationships. They found that attachment patterns observed in childhood often persist into adulthood, influencing how individuals form and maintain romantic partnerships.

Improving Your Attachment Style

While attachment styles are formed early in life, they are not fixed. With self-awareness and effort, it is possible to develop a more secure attachment style:

1. Recognise your attachment pattern and its impact on your relationships

2. Practice self-reflection and emotional awareness

3. Communicate openly and honestly with partners about your needs and fears

4. Seek professional help, such as attachment-based psychotherapy, if needed

5. Work on building self-esteem and a positive self-image

6. Learn to balance independence and intimacy in relationships

Conclusion

Understanding your attachment style can provide valuable insights into your relationship patterns and emotional responses. By recognising these patterns, you can work towards developing more secure attachments and improving your overall mental health and relationship satisfaction.

Recommended Further Reading 

1. Bowlby, J., 1988. A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. New York: Basic Books.

2. Levine, A. and Heller, R., 2012. Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find-and keep-love. New York: Penguin.

3. Johnson, S.M., 2008. Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love. New York: Little, Brown Spark.

4. Siegel, D.J. and Hartzell, M., 2003. Parenting from the inside out: How a deeper self-understanding can help you raise children who thrive. New York: Penguin.

5. Wallin, D.J., 2007. Attachment in psychotherapy. New York: Guilford Press.

6. Mikulincer, M. and Shaver, P.R., 2007. Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. New York: Guilford Press.

Breaking the Silence: A Journey Through Men’s Mental Health

As a BACP Registered Male Counsellor, I've witnessed firsthand the transformative power of therapy for men. My personal journey to counselling in my 40s was not a straightforward one, and it's a story I believe resonates with many men who struggle to seek help.

The Reluctant Path to Therapy

Like many men, I didn't seek out therapy voluntarily. It was my wife who urged me to visit my GP, concerned about my anxiety, depression, and eventual burnout. Working in a toxic environment that challenged my ethics as an HR professional, I had become accustomed to being the problem-solver, neglecting my own self-care and losing touch with my core values.

The initial steps were challenging. Prescribed sertraline, I experienced heightened anxiety and, for the first time, suicidal thoughts due to incorrect usage. This experience underscores the importance of proper medical guidance and the potential pitfalls of medication without adequate support.

Breaking Through Barriers

My journey in therapy was initially passive. I approached it as something "done to me" rather than an active process. However, by the fourth session, I found myself in tears, finally opening up to a non-judgmental, patient therapist who created a safe space for vulnerability.

This experience aligns with recent research highlighting the importance of creating supportive environments for men in therapy. Dr. Zac Seidler from Movember emphasises the need to co-design solutions with men, fostering a sense of ownership in the therapeutic process (Seidler et al., 2018).

Redefining Masculinity and Mental Health

As I progressed in therapy, I realised that my issues extended beyond work stress. The changing dynamics with my father, who had been diagnosed with dementia, played a significant role in my mental state. This revelation helped me realign with my core values and consider future possibilities. Dr. Dwight Turner's insights resonate here, noting that many men are beginning to recognise the limitations of traditional masculinity. This shift allows for embracing qualities like kindness and gentleness, often suppressed by societal expectations (Turner, 2021).

The Importance of Self-Care

It wasn't until I began studying psychotherapy that I fully grasped the significance of self-care. This goes beyond attending therapy sessions; it involves recognising triggers, stepping back when necessary, and maintaining a routine of enriching activities. As a therapist, I've learned that self-care is not self-indulgent but essential for navigating life's challenges and maintaining healthy relationships.

Challenges Men Face in Seeking Mental Health Support

Research consistently shows that men are less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues (Seidler et al., 2016). This reluctance stems from various factors deeply rooted in societal norms and expectations of masculinity:

1. Stigma and Masculine Norms: Traditional masculine ideals often emphasise strength, self-reliance, and emotional stoicism. These norms can make men feel that seeking help is a sign of weakness (Addis and Mahalik, 2003).

2. Emotional Literacy: Many men struggle with identifying and expressing emotions, a skill crucial for effective therapy. This difficulty can be traced back to socialisation patterns that discourage emotional expression in boys (Levant et al., 2009).

3. Fear of Vulnerability: The therapeutic process often requires opening up about personal struggles, which can feel threatening to men who have been conditioned to maintain a facade of strength (Seidler et al., 2018).

4. Misconceptions About Therapy: There's often a lack of understanding about what therapy entails, leading to misconceptions that it's only for "serious" mental illnesses or that it involves endless sessions of childhood analysis (Vogel et al., 2011).

5. Preference for Self-Reliance: Many men prefer to handle problems on their own, viewing help-seeking as a last resort rather than a proactive step towards well-being (Yousaf et al., 2015).

Diverse Approaches to Men’s Mental Health

In my practice, I've observed that while traditional talking therapies can be effective for many men, a range of interventions is crucial. This realisation led to my involvement with the Compassion Collective and the True North Collective, organisations aimed at providing affordable and accessible mental health support.

Recent research supports this approach. A study by Seidler et al. (2018) found that men often prefer action-oriented therapies, problem-solving approaches, and group-based interventions. These formats can feel more congruent with masculine norms while still providing the necessary support.

Innovative Strategies for Engaging Men

To address these challenges, mental health professionals and organizations are developing innovative strategies:

1. Male-Friendly Language: Using terms like "coaching" or "training" instead of "therapy" can make services more appealing to men who are wary of traditional mental health labels (Seidler et al., 2018).

2. Technology-Based Interventions: Online platforms and apps can provide a less intimidating entry point for men to explore mental health resources (Ellis et al., 2020).

3. Community-Based Programs: Initiatives like men's sheds or sports-based mental health programs create spaces where men can connect and discuss mental health in familiar, comfortable settings (Vella et al., 2021). The True North Collective based in Keighley is a perfect example of this.

4. Workplace Interventions: Given that many men spend significant time at work, workplace mental health programs can be an effective way to reach this demographic (LaMontagne et al., 2014).

A Call to Action

If you're in the Aire and Worth Valley area and feel you need support, visit www.richardpiercetherapy.com to learn more about my counselling services and the Compassion Collective. For those interested in peer support, check out The True North Collective, which offers bespoke groups for men, women, and mixed groups at the Woodville Community Project in Keighley.

To potential donors and grant-funding bodies: Your support can make a significant difference in providing affordable mental health services to our community. Please consider contributing to these vital initiatives.

Conclusion

Remember, investing in your mental health is not just for you—it benefits everyone around you. It's okay to dip in and out of therapy as needed; life's changes may impact us all adversely at times.

As we continue to challenge the narrative around masculinity and mental health, it's crucial to create spaces where men feel comfortable seeking help. Whether through one-on-one therapy, peer support groups, or other interventions, the key is to take that first step towards better mental health.

References and Further Reading

1. Addis, M.E. and Mahalik, J.R., 2003. Men, masculinity, and the contexts of help seeking. American psychologist, 58(1), p.5.

2. Ellis, L.A., Collin, P., Hurley, P.J., Davenport, T.A., Burns, J.M. and Hickie, I.B., 2013. Young men's attitudes and behaviour in relation to mental health and technology: implications for the development of online mental health services. BMC psychiatry, 13(1), pp.1-10.

3. LaMontagne, A.D., Martin, A., Page, K.M., Reavley, N.J., Noblet, A.J., Milner, A.J., Keegel, T. and Smith, P.M., 2014. Workplace mental health: developing an integrated intervention approach. BMC psychiatry, 14(1), pp.1-11.

4. Levant, R.F., Good, G.E., Cook, S.W., O'Neil, J.M., Smalley, K.B., Owen, K. and Richmond, K., 2006. The normative Male Alexithymia Scale: Measurement of a gender-linked syndrome. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 7(4), p.212.

5. Seidler, Z.E., Dawes, A.J., Rice, S.M., Oliffe, J.L. and Dhillon, H.M., 2016. The role of masculinity in men's help-seeking for depression: A systematic review. Clinical psychology review, 49, pp.106-118.

6. Seidler, Z.E., Rice, S.M., Ogrodniczuk, J.S., Oliffe, J.L. and Dhillon, H.M., 2018. Engaging men in psychological treatment: A scoping review. American journal of men's health, 12(6), pp.1882-1900.

7. Turner, D., 2021. Intersections of Privilege and Otherness in Counselling and Psychotherapy: Mockingbird. Routledge.

8. Vella, S.A., Swann, C., Boydell, K.M., Eckermann, S., Fogarty, A., Hurley, D., Liddle, S.K., Lonsdale, C., Sanders, T., Schweickle, M.J. and Telenta, J., 2019. Sports-based mental health promotion in Australia: formative evaluation. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 45, p.101560.

Understanding and Supporting those Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts, Ideation, and Self-Harm.

World Suicide Prevention Day serves as a poignant reminder of the critical need to raise awareness about suicide, suicidal ideation, and self-harm. These complex issues affect millions of lives globally, and dispelling myths surrounding them is crucial in helping those who suffer silently. By fostering understanding, reducing stigma, and offering compassionate support, we can create safer spaces for individuals to share their struggles and seek help.

One of the most significant barriers to effective suicide prevention is misinformation. It's essential to address common myths with facts. For instance, contrary to popular belief, talking about suicide does not increase the risk or put the idea into someone's head. In fact, open conversations can reduce feelings of isolation and shame, encouraging individuals to seek help (Dazzi et al., 2014). Creating a non-judgmental space to discuss difficult emotions can provide relief and allow people to express feelings they might otherwise keep hidden.

Another prevalent myth is that only mentally ill people consider suicide. While mental health conditions can increase risk, many individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts do not have a diagnosed mental illness. Factors such as financial stress, trauma, loss, or chronic illness can also contribute to suicidal ideation (Klonsky et al., 2016). It's crucial to approach these conversations with empathy and without assuming mental illness is always the underlying cause.

It's also important to understand that suicidal thoughts are often temporary and can fluctuate with circumstances. With proper support, many people can move through these feelings and lead meaningful lives. Early intervention and supportive counselling can help individuals make sense of their emotions and find hope beyond their darkest moments (Jobes, 2016).

Self-harm, such as cutting or burning, is often misunderstood as always indicating suicidal intent. However, many individuals engage in self-harm as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions, not necessarily as a desire to end their lives. While self-harm can increase suicide risk, it's often a method of managing pain or expressing feelings that cannot be verbalised (Klonsky, 2007).

Personal experiences can provide valuable insights into the complexities of suicidal thoughts and self-harm. As a carer for my father who suffered from vascular dementia, I witnessed firsthand the devastating impact of suicidal ideation. His fear and confusion, especially after seeing his elder sister's decline from the same condition, led him to express thoughts about ending his life. This experience mirrored what I've observed in some clients: the overwhelming sense of circumstances beyond their control, fear of the future, and longing for release.

These encounters underscore the critical importance of having someone to talk to without judgment. The reasons for suicidal thoughts or self-harm are unique to each individual, but the universal need for a safe space to share these thoughts and emotions is key to healing. Therapy offers this sanctuary—a place where people can talk openly, process their feelings, and make sense of their internal turmoil.

The prevalence of suicide and self-harm in the UK is alarming. According to Samaritans, there were 5,219 suicides registered in 2021, with males accounting for about 75% of these deaths (Samaritans, 2022). Suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50 and young people aged 15-24. These statistics highlight the urgent need for awareness and early intervention.

For those looking to support someone in crisis, several key steps can make a difference. Listening without judgment, asking directly about suicide, encouraging professional help, being patient and compassionate, and helping create a safety plan are all crucial ways to provide support (WHO, 2021).

In West and North Yorkshire, several organisations offer support for those struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation:

• Mind in Bradford provides mental health support services in Bradford and Craven.

• Leeds Suicide Bereavement Service offers support to those affected by suicide in Leeds.

• Airedale NHS Foundation Trust provides mental health services in Keighley and surrounding areas.

• Craven Mental Health and Wellbeing Hub offers support in Skipton and the Craven district.

The concept of the "wounded healer," popularised by Carl Jung, is significant in understanding why some psychotherapists are drawn to their profession. Many influential figures in psychotherapy, like Sabina Spielrein, have navigated their own psychological challenges while helping others (Launer, 2015). Their experiences have shaped the field, enabling a deeper understanding of the human psyche and the importance of empathy in therapy.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or self-harm, remember that help is available. Resources like Samaritans (116 123), Mind (0300 123 3393), Papyrus (0800 068 4141), CALM (0800 58 58 58), and Shout (Text "SHOUT" to 85258) offer support and guidance.

By educating ourselves, reducing stigma, and offering compassionate support, we can make a profound difference in the lives of those who are struggling. Through professional support, counselling, or simply opening up a conversation with someone who cares, there is always hope for healing and recovery.

References:

Dazzi, T., Gribble, R., Wessely, S., & Fear, N. T. (2014). Does asking about suicide and related behaviours induce suicidal ideation? What is the evidence? Psychological Medicine, 44(16), 3361-3363.

Jobes, D. A. (2016). Managing suicidal risk: A collaborative approach. Guilford Publications.

Klonsky, E. D. (2007). The functions of deliberate self-injury: A review of the evidence. Clinical Psychology Review, 27(2), 226-239.

Klonsky, E. D., May, A. M., & Saffer, B. Y. (2016). Suicide, suicide attempts, and suicidal ideation. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 12, 307-330.

Launer, J. (2015). Sex versus survival: The life and ideas of Sabina Spielrein. Journal of Medical Biography, 23(1), 57-58.

Samaritans. (2022). Suicide statistics report: Latest statistics for the UK and Republic of Ireland. Retrieved from https://www.samaritans.org/about-samaritans/research-policy/suicide-facts-and-figures/

World Health Organisation. (2021). Suicide prevention. Retrieved from https://www.who.int/health-topics/suicide

Understanding the Adaptive Child

The adaptive child is the part of us that developed coping strategies to navigate challenging childhood environments. These adaptations, while necessary for survival in childhood, can become problematic in adult relationships if left unexamined.

Types of Adaptive Children

While each person's adaptive child is unique, there are some common patterns:

1. The Withdrawer: This type tends to retreat from conflict, often becoming emotionally distant or physically absent.

2. The Attacker: This adaptive child responds to stress with aggression, either verbal or physical.

3. The Pleaser: Always trying to keep the peace, this type often neglects their own needs to satisfy others.

4. The Perfectionist: Striving for flawlessness, this adaptive child believes that being perfect will protect them from criticism or rejection.

5. The Rebel: This type pushes against authority and rules as a way of asserting control.

Identifying Your Adaptive Child

Recognising your adaptive child involves self-reflection and awareness. Here are some signs to look out for:

1. Recurring Patterns: Notice if you consistently react to stress or conflict in the same way.

2. Emotional Triggers: Identify situations that provoke strong, seemingly disproportionate emotional responses.

3. Black-and-White Thinking: The adaptive child often sees things in extremes.

4. Rigid Behaviour: Inflexibility in your responses to various situations can be a sign of your adaptive child at work.

5. Fear-Based Motivation: If your actions are primarily driven by fear of abandonment, rejection, or failure, your adaptive child may be in control.

Working with Your Adaptive Child

Healing and growth involve acknowledging and nurturing your adaptive child. Here are strategies to improve your relationships by working with this part of yourself:

1. Self-Compassion: Recognise that your adaptive child developed these behaviours for a reason. Approach this part of yourself with understanding and kindness.

2. Awareness: Practice mindfulness to catch yourself when you're reacting from your adaptive child state.

3. Challenging Beliefs: Question the beliefs that underpin your adaptive behaviours. Are they still relevant in your adult life?

4. Emotional Regulation: Learn techniques to soothe your adaptive child when it feels threatened.

5. Communication: Express your needs and feelings clearly, rather than relying on adaptive behaviours to get them met indirectly.

6. Boundaries: Set healthy boundaries in relationships, allowing your adult self to take charge rather than your adaptive child.

7. Therapy: Consider working with a therapist trained in relational approaches to delve deeper into your adaptive patterns.

The Adaptive Child in Relationships

Our adaptive child often emerges most strongly in our closest relationships. Terry Real emphasises that understanding and managing our adaptive child is crucial for building healthy, fulfilling partnerships.

When both partners can recognise their adaptive children at play, they can approach conflicts with more empathy and understanding. Instead of reacting defensively, they can support each other in healing old wounds and creating new, healthier patterns of interaction.

Moving Towards the Functional Adult

The goal in working with your adaptive child is not to eliminate it, but to integrate it into a more balanced, mature self. Terry Real refers to this as the "wise adult" or "functional adult". This part of you can acknowledge the adaptive child's fears and needs while making decisions based on present reality rather than past trauma.

The functional adult is characterised by:

• Flexibility in thinking and behaviour

• Ability to tolerate ambiguity and uncertainty

• Capacity for nuanced, rather than black-and-white, thinking

• Willingness to be vulnerable and authentic

• Skill in collaborative problem-solving

In summary understanding and working with your adaptive child is a powerful tool for personal growth and relationship improvement. By recognising the patterns established in childhood, we can begin to make conscious choices about how we want to show up in our adult relationships.

Remember, this is a journey of self-discovery and growth. Be patient with yourself as you uncover and work with your adaptive child. With time and practice, you can create more fulfilling relationships and a deeper sense of authenticity in your life.

References & Further Reading

1. Real, T., 2024. Terry Real. [online] Terryreal.com. Available at: https://terryreal.com[Accessed 4 September 2024].

2. Behnke, C., 2023. The Power of Terry Real's Relationship Grid for Therapists and their Clients. [online] Claudia Behnke Psychotherapy. Available at: https://www.claudiabehnkepsychotherapy.co.uk/post/the-power-of-terry-real-s-relationship-grid-for-therapists-and-their-clients [Accessed 4 September 2024].

3. Real, T., 2022. What is Relational Life Therapy (RLT)?. [video] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGwDtSgmLHc [Accessed 4 September 2024].

4. Bowlby, J., 1988. A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. New York: Basic Books.

5. Klein, M., 1985. Envy and Gratitude and Other Works 1946-1963. London: The Hogarth Press.

6. Schwartz, R.C., 1995. Internal Family Systems Therapy. New York: The Guilford Press.

7. Berne, E., 1964. Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships. New York: Grove Press.

8. Beck, A.T., 1976. Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders. New York: International Universities Press.

9. Ainsworth, M.D.S., Blehar, M.C., Waters, E., and Wall, S., 1978. Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

10. Winnicott, D.W., 1965. The Maturational Processes and the Facilitating Environment: Studies in the Theory of Emotional Development. London: The Hogarth Press and the Institute of Psycho-Analysis.

Establishing a New Model for Accessible Mental Health Services: A Vision for Change

As a newly qualified psychotherapist grounded in person-centred, relational, and integrative approaches, I am about to embark on an ambitious project: to create a network of free-at-the-point-of-use counselling services and talking therapies across North and West Yorkshire. This initiative aims to address the significant gaps in mental health care provision, particularly for those who cannot afford private therapy, while also providing paid work opportunities for qualified and student psychotherapists.

The Current State of Mental Health Services

The mental health crisis in the UK is undeniable. According to recent data, some 1.9 million people are currently on waiting lists for mental health support. This staggering figure is only one indicator of the deep-rooted issues within the system. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) has highlighted the chronic shortage of mental health professionals, exacerbated by the pandemic, economic pressures, and systemic inequalities. This has led to increased demand for services that the NHS and other public providers are struggling to meet.

September’s article in Therapy Today by Ellie Broughton captures the essence of this crisis, noting that mental health care in the UK is in a persistent state of "crisis mode." The challenges include staff shortages, with vacancy rates in acute inpatient services exceeding 20%, crumbling NHS premises, and a mental health workforce overwhelmed by the complexity and volume of cases. Furthermore, as BACP’s Workforce Lead Kris Ambler pointed out, the cost-of-living crisis has further exacerbated mental health inequalities, particularly among women, young people, and minoritised groups.

A New Approach: Free at the Point of Use, Yet Sustainable

Given this context, the need for innovative solutions is clear. My vision is to establish a private counselling service that is free at the point of use for clients but operates sustainably by partnering with NHS providers, GP surgeries, and third-sector organisations. These organisations will pay for the services, allowing us to maintain fair pricing while ensuring that therapy remains accessible to those who need it most.

One of the unique aspects of this model is its dual focus: not only will it provide essential mental health services to underserved populations, but it will also support the next generation of psychotherapists and counsellors. Currently, psychotherapy students are required to complete over 100 hours of placement, pay for supervision, and undertake personal therapy—costly requirements that often limit the profession to those who can afford it.

By offering paid placements and covering supervision costs, this initiative will open the door to a more diverse range of students, helping to address the workforce shortage that is crippling the sector.

Flexibility and Community Integration

Another advantage of this model is its flexibility. As private practitioners, we can offer therapy in various formats—via Zoom, telephone, face-to-face, or even at the client’s home or workplace. This flexibility is particularly valuable in reaching clients who may struggle with traditional, location-based therapy due to physical or logistical barriers. Furthermore, because we are embedded in our communities, we have a deeper understanding of the local systemic issues affecting our clients, allowing us to offer more nuanced and effective support.

The Road Ahead: Building a Network of Support

This project will take time to set up, but I am optimistic about the future. The new government has made significant pledges to invest in mental health services, and I intend to leverage this funding to build a robust network of qualified and student counsellors. Over the next 12-18 months, my goal is to establish a presence in North and West Yorkshire, working closely with psychotherapy education providers and experienced professionals who share this vision.

To all the students of psychotherapy, seasoned professionals, and education providers reading this, I invite you to join me on this journey. This initiative is more than just a business plan; it’s a call to action to create a more equitable and effective mental health care system. While I may not be able to offer private practice rates, I am committed to covering your costs and providing meaningful, impactful work that will make a real difference in our communities.

The challenges facing the new government in addressing the mental health crisis are immense, as highlighted by the voices in Therapy Today. But where there is crisis, there is also opportunity—opportunity to innovate, to collaborate, and to build something that truly meets the needs of our society. As we move forward, I am eager to see how this initiative can contribute to the broader efforts to transform mental health care in the UK.

Let’s work together to create a future where mental health support is accessible to all, regardless of their financial situation, and where the mental health profession is open to anyone with the passion and commitment to make a difference.

Watch this space.

Music: A Powerful Ally in the Battle Against Dementia

Last Saturday would have marked my dad's 89th birthday. Reflecting on his life and inspired by Tony Christie's interview on Good Morning Britain this morning where he discussed his dementia diagnosis, I thought I’d share an aspect of my relationship with my dad that brought fun, comfort and shared happiness: the power of music.

The Enduring Power of Musical Memory

One of the most remarkable aspects of dementia is that even as other cognitive functions decline, the ability to recognise and enjoy music often remains intact. This is because musical memories are stored in areas of the brain that are less affected by dementia and Alzheimer's disease.

Dr. Borna Bonakdarpour, a neurologist at Northwestern Medicine, explains, "The long-term memory of music remains intact until the very late stages of disease progression”. This preservation of musical memory offers a unique opportunity for connection and engagement with individuals living with dementia.

Personal Experience: Music as a Bridge

During my time as a full-time caregiver for my father, music was a really helpful part of our daily routine. It was through music that I often saw glimpses of the person my father used to be. Songs from his younger years would bring a smile to his face and he would even have a little bop. Music provided moments of joy, that really helped on those days where his dementia was really noticeable and distressing.

Benefits of Music for Dementia Patients

Music can provide numerous benefits for those with dementia, including:

• Improved mood and reduced anxiety: Listening to familiar tunes can create a sense of calm and happiness.

• Enhanced communication and social interaction: Music often encourages sufferers to sing along or even engage in conversations about their past.

• Stimulation of cognitive functions: Regular exposure to music can help maintain mental agility and cognitive functions.

• Evocation of personal memories: Music can trigger memories and emotions from earlier in life, providing a sense of continuity and identity.

• Reduced agitation and behavioural issues: Soothing music can help reduce irritability and aggression.

• Research has shown that both short-term and long-term music therapy can significantly reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety in dementia sufferers .

Implementing Music in Dementia Care

For caregivers and loved ones, incorporating music into daily routines can be a powerful way to connect with someone living with dementia. Here are some tips:

• Choose familiar music: Focus on songs from the person's teenage years or early 20s, as these often evoke the strongest memories.

• Observe reactions: Pay attention to how the person responds to different types of music and adjust accordingly.

• Use music to soothe: Playing calming music can help redirect attention and reduce agitation.

• Consider professional help: Working with a trained music therapist can maximize the benefits of musical interventions.

 Research and Future Directions

 The field of music therapy for dementia is rapidly evolving. Recent studies have explored the use of AI-powered music players to manage anxiety and agitation in dementia patients.

Other research has investigated the neural mechanisms behind music's effects on memory and cognition in Alzheimer's disease.

 As we continue to uncover the power of music in dementia care, it's clear that this non-pharmacological intervention offers significant promise for improving the quality of life for those affected by these conditions.

 Resources and Support

 For those recently diagnosed with dementia or their caregivers, resources like the Alzheimer's Association (www.alz.org) offer valuable information and support. While music therapy can't cure dementia, it can certainly enhance the lives of those living with the condition and provide moments of joy and connection.

It is also important if you are a carer of someone with dementia to get support for yourself. This could involve local talking therapy groups of individual counselling. If you are struggling, I can help and provided a sliding scale of pricing for therapy which flexes to suit your resources. So for a free 30 minute consultation email me on richard@richardpiercetherapy.com or call: 07941 288363.

 References:

Alzheimer's Association, 2024. Alzheimer's Disease Facts and Figures. [online] Available at: https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/facts-figures [Accessed 6 August 2024].

 Bonakdarpour, B., 2022. Music as Medicine for Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia. [online] Northwestern Medicine. Available at: https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/emotional-health/music-as-medicine-alzheimers-dementia [Accessed 6 August 2024].

 Cohen, D., 2014. Alive Inside. [film] Directed by Michael Rossato-Bennett. USA: Projector Media.

 Fabiny, A., 2024. Music can boost memory and mood. [online] Harvard Health Publishing. Available at: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/music-can-boost-memory-and-mood [Accessed 6 August 2024].

 Gómez-Romero, M., Jiménez-Palomares, M., Rodríguez-Mansilla, J., Flores-Nieto, A., Garrido-Ardila, E.M. and González-López-Arza, M.V., 2017. Benefits of music therapy on behaviour disorders in subjects diagnosed with dementia: a systematic review. Neurología (English Edition), 32(4), pp.253-263.

 Music & Memory, 2024. Music & Memory. [online] Available at: https://musicandmemory.org [Accessed 6 August 2024].

Navigating Stress, Anger, and Anxiety.

As a professional who has grappled with stress, anger, and anxiety throughout my various careers and personal life, I've come to understand that these emotions aren’t aways enemies, but as signals to be heeded.

Is easier said than done managing these emotions and it’s important to understand when and why these particular emotions crop up for you.  environment. One of my key triggers has always been a sense of unfairness or witnessing intransigence in the face of necessary change. The frustration of seeing "the way we've always done things" prioritised over more effective solutions can be maddening. However, I've learned that reacting in the heat of the moment rarely leads to positive outcomes.

The importance of not acting at the height of emotions cannot be overstated. In these moments, our ability to think clearly is compromised, often leading to decisions we later regret. Yet, it's equally crucial to recognise that inaction or simply letting things go isn't always the answer either. The key lies in finding a balance – acknowledging our emotions while not letting them dictate our actions.

Understanding our personal limits and triggers is fundamental to this process. For me, recognising the physical signs of stress and anger – tensed muscles, quickened heartbeat, shallow breathing – has been crucial. These bodily responses serve as early warning systems, allowing me to implement calming strategies before emotions escalate.

I've found great value in the work of Prof Steve Peters, particularly his book "The Chimp Paradox." Peters' model of the human mind, which he likens to three teams – the human (rational), the chimp (emotional), and the computer (memory) – has been instrumental in my approach to managing stress and anxiety.

This framework helps explain why we sometimes react irrationally and offers practical strategies for managing our "inner chimp".

When I feel overwhelmed, I turn to specific techniques that help soothe and calm me:

1. Mindful breathing: Taking slow, deep breaths helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress and promoting clarity.

2. Physical activity: A brisk walk or quick workout can help release tension and improve mood.

3. Reframing: I try to step back and view the situation objectively, asking myself, "How important will this be in a week, a month, or a year?"

4. Expressing myself assertively: Instead of bottling up emotions, I've learned to express my concerns calmly and clearly.

5. Seeking support: Talking to trusted colleagues or a mentor often provides new perspectives and emotional relief.

It's crucial to remember that these "negative" emotions aren't inherently bad. They're evolutionary responses designed to protect us. The fight, flight, or freeze response, while sometimes overwhelming in modern contexts, is our body's way of preparing for potential threats.

By viewing stress, anger, and anxiety as information rather than enemies, we can use them as catalysts for positive change. They can highlight areas in our work or personal lives that need attention, spurring us to advocate for fairer practices or more efficient systems.

In conclusion, managing stress, anger, and anxiety whether in the workplace or outside of work is an ongoing process of self-awareness and skill development. By understanding our triggers, respecting our limits, and employing effective coping strategies, we can navigate these turbulent emotional waters more successfully.

Remember, it's not about eliminating these emotions entirely, but about harnessing their energy to drive positive change – both in ourselves and in our professional environments.

Understanding and Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts

Unwanted intrusive thoughts are a common yet often distressing experience, manifesting as unbidden, involuntary thoughts, images, or impulses that can be deeply unsettling. These thoughts can range from mildly annoying to severely distressing, and understanding their nature is the first step towards managing them effectively. I will provide a brief overview of intrusive thoughts, their origins, and strategies for overcoming them, with a particular focus on person-centred integrative and behavioural therapy approaches.

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are involuntary thoughts that seem to appear out of nowhere, often unsettling and causing significant distress. According to Clark and Rhyno (2005, p. 3), intrusive thoughts are defined as "any distinct, identifiable cognitive event that is unwanted, unintended, and recurrent." These thoughts can take various forms, including images, impulses, or ideas that are inconsistent with an individual's values and self-concept.

It's important to understand that experiencing intrusive thoughts is common and not unusual. As Rachman and de Silva (1978) demonstrated in their seminal study, up to 90% of the general population report experiencing intrusive thoughts. This finding has been consistently replicated in subsequent research, highlighting that these thoughts are a normal part of human cognition(Purdon and Clark, 1993).

Key Types of Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts can be categorised into several types, each with its own characteristics and potential for causing distress:

1. Aggressive Intrusive Thoughts: These involve thoughts or images of harming oneself or others. They can be particularly distressing due to their violent nature and the fear that they might indicate a hidden desire to act on these thoughts.

2. Sexual Intrusive Thoughts: These thoughts involve inappropriate or taboo sexual content, often conflicting with the individual's sexual orientation, values, or relationships.

3. Religious or Blasphemous Intrusive Thoughts: For individuals with strong religious beliefs, thoughts that are perceived as sacrilegious or blasphemous can cause significant distress.

4. Contamination Intrusive Thoughts: These involve fears of germs, dirt, or illness, often leading to compulsive cleaning behaviours.

5. Doubt and Uncertainty Intrusive Thoughts: These thoughts revolve around constant doubt and the need for certainty, often manifesting as repeated checking behaviours.

 Understanding the Brain's Role in Intrusive Thoughts

 Our brains play a big role in creating intrusive thoughts. Research shows that certain parts of the brain become more active when we have these thoughts:

1. The prefrontal cortex, which helps control our thinking and spot errors

2. The default mode network, which is active when our mind wanders

Scientists think that when these brain areas are overactive, we might have more intrusive thoughts. This is especially true for people with conditions like OCD.

Steps to Manage Intrusive Thoughts

1. Recognise the thoughts: Remember, they're just thoughts, not facts or reality.

2. Practice mindfulness: Learn to observe your thoughts without judging them.

3. Challenge negative thinking: Identify and question unhelpful thought patterns.

4. Face your fears gradually: For severe cases, slowly expose yourself to feared thoughts without giving in to compulsive behaviours.

5. Accept uncertainty: Learn to be okay with not knowing everything.

6. Be kind to yourself: Practice self-compassion to reduce shame and self-criticism.

7. Stay active: Engage in meaningful activities to shift focus away from intrusive thoughts.

These strategies can help you manage intrusive thoughts and reduce their impact on your life. Remember, it's okay to seek professional help if you're struggling.

Person-Centred Integrative and Behavioural Therapy for Intrusive Thoughts

Person-centred therapy, developed by Carl Rogers, emphasizes the importance of the therapeutic relationship and the client's innate tendency towards growth and self-actualization (Rogers, 1951). When integrated with behavioural approaches, it can be particularly effective in treating intrusive thoughts.

The person-centred approach provides a non-judgmental, empathic environment where clients can explore their thoughts without fear of criticism. This can be especially beneficial for individuals struggling with shame or guilt related to their intrusive thoughts.

Integrating behavioural techniques like exposure and response prevention (ERP) within this supportive framework can enhance treatment effectiveness. The therapist can guide the client through gradual exposure to feared thoughts or situations while providing unconditional positive regard and empathic understanding.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques can be incorporated to help clients identify and challenge the cognitive distortions associated with their intrusive thoughts. The person-centred approach ensures that this process is collaborative and respectful of the client's experiences and perspectives.

Mindfulness-based interventions, which align well with both person-centred and behavioural approaches, can be integrated to help clients develop a different relationship with their thoughts.

Mindfulness encourages non-judgmental awareness of thoughts, reducing their emotional impact.

 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which combines elements of behavioural therapy with mindfulness and acceptance strategies, can be particularly effective. ACT helps clients accept the presence of intrusive thoughts while committing to actions aligned with their values (Hayes et al., 2006).

Recovery and Long-Term Management

Recovery from intrusive thoughts involves developing a new relationship with one's thoughts rather than eliminating them entirely. This process often includes:

1. Accepting the presence of intrusive thoughts without judgment

2. Reducing the emotional reactivity to these thoughts

3. Engaging in valued activities despite the presence of intrusive thoughts

4. Practicing ongoing self-compassion and mindfulness

Long-term management may involve ongoing practice of learned techniques, regular check-ins with a therapist, and participation in support groups. It's important to remember that setbacks can occur, especially during times of stress, but these do not negate progress made.

Intrusive thoughts, while distressing, are a normal part of human cognition. Understanding their nature, origin, and the various strategies for managing them can significantly reduce their impact on daily life. Person-centred integrative and behavioural therapy approaches offer a comprehensive framework for addressing intrusive thoughts, combining empathic understanding with evidence-based techniques.

With patience, practice, and appropriate support, individuals can learn to coexist with intrusive thoughts without allowing them to dictate their actions or diminish their quality of life.

References:

1.     Beck, J.S. (2011). Cognitive behaviour therapy: Basics and beyond. Guilford Press.

2.     Breiter, H.C., Rauch, S.L., Kwong, K.K., Baker, J.R., Weisskoff, R.M., Kennedy, D.N., Kendrick, A.D., Davis, T.L., Jiang, A., Cohen, M.S. and Stern, C.E. (1996). Functional magnetic resonance imaging of symptom provocation in obsessive-compulsive disorder. Archives of General Psychiatry, 53(7), pp.595-606.

3.     Clark, D.A. and Rhyno, S. (2005). Unwanted intrusive thoughts in nonclinical individuals: Implications for clinical disorders. In D.A. Clark (Ed.), Intrusive thoughts in clinical disorders: Theory, research, and treatment (pp. 1-29). Guilford Press.

4.     Foa, E.B., Yadin, E. and Lichner, T.K. (2012). Exposure and response (ritual) prevention for obsessive-compulsive disorder: Therapist guide. Oxford University Press.

5.     Hayes, S.C., Luoma, J.B., Bond, F.W., Masuda, A. and Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), pp.1-25.

6.     Kabat-Zinn, J. (2013). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. Bantam.

7.     Martell, C.R., Dimidjian, S. and Herman-Dunn, R. (2010). Behavioral activation for depression: A clinician's guide. Guilford Press.

8.     Neff, K. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. William Morrow.

9.     Purdon, C. and Clark, D.A. (1993). Obsessive intrusive thoughts in nonclinical subjects. Part I. Content and relation with depressive, anxious and obsessional symptoms. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 31(8), pp.713-720.

10.  Rachman, S. and de Silva, P. (1978). Abnormal and normal obsessions. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 16(4), pp.233-248.

11.  Rogers, C.R. (1951). Client-centred therapy: Its current practice, implications, and theory. Houghton Mifflin.

12.  Whitfield-Gabrieli, S. and Ford, J.M. (2012). Default mode network activity and connectivity in psychopathology. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 8, pp.49-76.

Healing the Lonely Heart: Person Centred Therapy for Post-Traumatic Growth

Loneliness is a silent epidemic, particularly among men who often struggle to open up and seek support. But for those grappling with trauma, loss, and the aftermath of heartache, loneliness can be a crushing weight that hinders healing and personal growth. Person centred therapy (PCT) offers a compassionate and effective approach to address loneliness, foster post-traumatic growth, and cultivate self-compassion after loss.

The Loneliness-Trauma Connection

Research has consistently highlighted the detrimental impact of loneliness on mental health and well-being. A study on Nordic adolescents found that loneliness explained a staggering 23% of the variance in mental well-being and 21% in self-esteem. For trauma survivors, loneliness can exacerbate symptoms of PTSD, depression, and anxiety, creating a vicious cycle that hinders recovery.

Person Centred Therapy: A Relational Approach

PCT show us that our relationships and social connections are fundamental to our emotional well-being. By targeting interpersonal issues, such as grief, role transitions, and interpersonal deficits, PCT can help improve communication, build social support, and enhance coping strategies.

For individuals struggling with loneliness and trauma, therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment to process their experiences, develop healthier relationship patterns, and cultivate a sense of belonging. A meta-analysis published in 2020 found that Interpersonal therapying particular was an effective treatment for PTSD, with significant reductions in symptoms compared to passive controls.

Fostering Post-Traumatic Growth

Trauma can shatter our worldviews and leave us questioning our sense of self and purpose. However, with the right support, individuals can emerge from these experiences with a renewed sense of strength, resilience, and personal growth – a phenomenon known as post-traumatic growth.

PCT and IPT can facilitate this process by encouraging meaning-making, helping individuals find purpose in their suffering, and cultivating self-compassion. By exploring the impact of trauma on relationships and social roles, I can help individuals redefine their identities and rebuild a sense of self-worth.

A Compassionate Space for Men

Societal norms and gender expectations often discourage men from seeking emotional support or expressing vulnerability. However, bottling up emotions can be detrimental to mental health and hinder the healing process. I know this from personal experience and can identify with wanting to keep my own feelings under wrap either to appear strong, to be strong for others I cared about or simply because over time keeping my own feelings in check became second nature. However, emotions will eventually seep, creep out if they are kept in check. If you have no release valve when the pressure builds you know what will eventually happen, you’ll either implode or explode hurting yourself, others or both.

In a session with me, men can expect a non-judgmental and compassionate environment where they can openly explore their experiences, emotions, and relationships. I’ll act as guide I won’t advise and I will provide a safe space for self-reflection, emotional expression, and personal growth and put it simply work 'shit' out for yourself.

Through therapy, men can learn to cultivate self-compassion, challenge rigid gender norms, and develop healthier coping strategies for dealing with trauma, loss, and loneliness. The focus on relationships can also help men strengthen their social connections and build a supportive network.

The Road to Healing

Healing from trauma, loss, and loneliness is a journey, but with the right support, individuals can emerge stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to navigate life's challenges. Interpersonal therapy offers a compassionate and evidence-based approach to address the emotional and relational aspects of trauma, fostering post-traumatic growth, meaning-making, and self-compassion.

For men who may be hesitant to seek support therapy. I can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to explore their experiences, emotions, and relationships. By challenging societal norms and cultivating self-compassion, men can embark on a transformative journey towards healing and personal growth.

My sessions are held in person in Skipton, North Yorkshire or via a secure Zoom link personalised for you. So if you are on the South-Coast, in the Highlands, Wales or Ireland, if you’ve got the internet, we can sort something out. I offer three tiers of pricing for a 50–60 minute sessions and you pay the relevant rate according to your financial circumstances.

Can altruism make us happy?

Altruism, the act of selflessly helping others, has long been associated with happiness and well-being. Numerous studies have explored this connection, and the findings consistently demonstrate that engaging in altruistic behaviour can lead to increased happiness and life satisfaction.

One of the studies on this topic was conducted by Brickman et al. (1978), which compared the happiness levels of lottery winners and paraplegic accident victims. Surprisingly, the results showed no significant difference in their ability to enjoy everyday pleasures, suggesting that material wealth alone does not guarantee happiness. This study challenged the common assumption that acquiring more possessions or achieving financial success is the key to happiness.

Researchers have found that helping others triggers the release of feel-good neurotransmitters like oxytocin and serotonin in the brain, leading to a sense of reward and satisfaction. In a study published in the journal Science, Dunn et al. (2008) demonstrated that individuals who spent money on others reported higher levels of happiness compared to those who spent money on themselves.

Moreover, the emotional rewards of altruism seem to be ingrained in human nature from an early age. Aknin et al. (2012) observed that toddlers younger than two years old who gave away treats were happier than those who received treats. This suggests that the happiness-inducing effects of generosity are deeply rooted in our evolutionary history.

Interestingly, the emotional benefits of altruism are amplified when the act of giving involves personal sacrifice or face-to-face interactions. "Costly giving," where individuals give away something that belongs to them, appears to be more rewarding than non-costly giving. This phenomenon may be linked to the intrinsic motivation and sense of purpose derived from making a meaningful sacrifice.

Additionally, face-to-face interactions during altruistic acts seem to produce greater emotional rewards than virtual or anonymous service. This aligns with our evolutionary history, where face-to-face interactions were the norm in small, close-knit communities.

It is important to note that not all forms of service or activism are equally effective in promoting happiness. While political activism can be a noble pursuit, it often involves a win-lose mentality, where one side's victory is another's defeat. This can breed feelings of anger, contempt, and disappointment, which can negatively impact mental health and well-being. In contrast, altruistic acts focused on directly helping others, such as volunteering or performing acts of kindness, tend to foster more positive emotions and a sense of purpose, ultimately contributing to greater happiness.

The connection between altruism and happiness is well-established by numerous psychological studies. Engaging in selfless acts of kindness and generosity can trigger the release of feel-good neurotransmitters, leading to increased happiness and life satisfaction. The emotional rewards of altruism are amplified when the act involves personal sacrifice or face-to-face interactions.

References:

Brickman, P., Coates, D., & Janoff-Bulman, R. (1978). Lottery winners and accident victims: Is happiness relative?. Journal of personality and social psychology, 36(8), 917-927.

Zaki, J., & Mitchell, J. P. (2011). Equitable decision making is associated with neural markers of intrinsic value. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(49), 19761-19766.

Dunn, E. W., Aknin, L. B., & Norton, M. I. (2008). Spending money on others promotes happiness. Science, 319(5870), 1687-1688.

Aknin, L. B., Hamlin, J. K., & Dunn, E. W. (2012). Giving leads to happiness in young children. PLoS one, 7(6), e39211.Aknin, L. B., Dunn, E. W., Whillans, A. V., Grant, A. M., & Norton, M. I. (2013). Making a difference matters: Impact unlocks the emotional benefits of prosocial spending. Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization, 88, 90-95.

Weinstein, N., & Ryan, R. M. (2010). When helping helps: Autonomous motivation for prosocial behavior and its influence on well-being for the helper and recipient. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98(2), 222-244.

Brooks, A. C. (2019). Love your enemies: How decent people can save America from the culture of contempt. HarperCollins.

Affirmative therapy & its importance in light of Rishi Sunak’s pledge to rewrite the Equality Act.

If Rishi Sunak is re-elected and follows through on his plans to rewrite the Equality Act to define gender strictly in binary terms, it could have severe negative impacts on the LGBTQ+ community, especially those who identify as transgender, non-binary, or gender non-conforming. Enshrining a narrow definition of gender into law would invalidate the identities and experiences of a significant portion of the LGBTQ+ population.

Potential Issues and Impact

1. Discrimination and Marginalisation: Legally defining gender as strictly binary would legitimise discrimination against transgender, non-binary, and gender non-conforming individuals in various spheres of life, including employment, housing, healthcare, and education. This could lead to increased marginalisation, stigma, and exclusion of these communities.

2. Barriers to Access: Redefining gender in binary terms could create barriers for transgender and non-binary individuals in accessing essential services, such as gender-affirming healthcare, legal recognition of their identities, and protection from discrimination.

3. Mental Health Implications: The invalidation and erasure of identities can have severe mental health consequences for transgender, non-binary, and gender non-conforming individuals, potentially exacerbating existing issues such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.

4. Regression of Rights: Such a move would represent a significant regression of rights and protections for the LGBTQ+ community, undoing years of progress and advocacy efforts.

Importance of Affirmative Therapy

In this context, affirmative therapy would become even more crucial in supporting and validating the identities and experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly those whose gender identities and expressions fall outside the binary norms.

1. Safe and Affirming Space: Affirmative therapy provides a safe and affirming space for LGBTQ+ clients to explore their identities, experiences, and challenges without fear of judgment or invalidation.

2. Validation and Advocacy: Therapists practicing affirmative therapy actively validate and advocate for the needs and identities of their LGBTQ+ clients, countering the harmful effects of societal marginalisation and discrimination.

3. Empowerment and Self-Acceptance: By fostering self-acceptance and empowerment, affirmative therapy can help LGBTQ+ clients develop resilience and coping strategies to navigate the challenges posed by discriminatory policies and societal attitudes.

4. Intersectional Approach: Affirmative therapy recognises the intersectionality of identities and experiences, addressing the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals who also belong to other marginalised groups, such as racial or ethnic minorities, or those with disabilities.

In the face of potential legal and societal setbacks, affirmative therapy would play a crucial role in supporting the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly those whose identities and experiences are at risk of being invalidated or erased by discriminatory policies.

References:

1. Gender-Affirming Care and Young People. (2022). U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. https://opa.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/2022-03/gender-affirming-care-young-people-march-2022.pdf

2. Who We Are. (n.d.). talktotherainbow.co.uk. https://talktotherainbow.co.uk/who-we-are

3. LGBT Relationship Counselling: 25th year Fabulous Help. (n.d.). lgbtcouplecounselling.co.uk. https://lgbtcouplecounselling.co.uk

4. The Lies and Dangers of Efforts to Change Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity. (n.d.). Human Rights Campaign. https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy

Why can’t I get an Autism or ADHD Assessment, Help!!

The UK is currently facing a significant backlog in autism and ADHD assessments, with many individuals waiting over a year or more for a diagnosis. This surge in demand can be attributed to several factors, including increased awareness, improved screening methods, and a growing recognition of the importance of early intervention.

Rising Demand for Assessments

One of the primary reasons for the rise in people seeking autism and ADHD diagnoses is the increased awareness and understanding of these conditions. Campaigns by organisations like the National Autistic Society and ADHD Foundation have helped educate the public, leading more individuals to recognise the signs and seek professional evaluations. Additionally, improved screening methods in schools and healthcare settings have facilitated earlier identification of potential cases.

The Right to Choose

To address the backlog and provide more timely assessments, the NHS introduced the "Right to Choose" scheme in England. This initiative allows individuals registered with an English GP to choose where they receive their autism or ADHD assessment, potentially reducing wait times. Providers like Psicon, ProblemShared, and Provide Wellbeing offer assessments through this scheme, with wait times ranging from 5-9 months. The Divergent Space in Skipton where I practice therapy also carry out screening and comprehensive assessments.  To access the Right to Choose service, individuals must request a referral from their GP for an autism or ADHD assessment. The GP will then complete a referral form and send it directly to the chosen provider.

Support and Resources

While waiting for an assessment, individuals can seek support through various resources and services. Person-centred, relational integrative therapy can be beneficial in managing symptoms and developing coping strategies. Organisations like the National Autistic Society and ADHD UK offer support groups, online communities, and resources for individuals and their families.

For those seeking an assessment, the following UK-based resources can provide guidance and information.

• The National Autistic Society: https://www.autism.org.uk/

• ADHD Foundation: https://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/

• ADHD UK: https://adhduk.co.uk/

• Psicon: https://www.psicon.co.uk/nhs/patients[4]

• ProblemShared: https://www.problemshared.net/right-to-choose[2]

• Provide Wellbeing: https://wellbeingasd.co.uk/services/right-to-choose/[1]

• The Divergent Space: https://www.thedivergentspace.co.uk

 In conclusion, the current backlog in autism and ADHD assessments in the UK is a pressing issue, driven by increased awareness and demand. The Right to Choose scheme offers a potential solution, allowing individuals to access assessments from alternative providers. While waiting, seeking support through therapy, support groups, and online resources can be invaluable. By raising awareness and advocating for improved access to assessments and support services, we can better serve those in need of diagnosis and treatment.

Why don’t men go to therapy and why they should.

Numerous studies have highlighted a significant gender gap when it comes to seeking mental health support, with men being far less likely than women to attend therapy or counselling.

In the UK, only 36% of referrals for talking therapies like counselling and psychotherapy are for men (Baker, 2018). This disparity is concerning given that suicide rates among men are around three times higher than women (Office for National Statistics, 2022).

The reasons behind men's reluctance to seek therapy are complex and multifaceted. A major factor is the societal pressure to conform to traditional masculine norms of self-reliance, emotional control, and the perception that seeking help is a sign of weakness (Sagar-Ouriaghli et al., 2020). Many men struggle to express emotions, fearing it will lead to a loss of masculine identity (Scholz et al., 2017). There is also scepticism about the benefits of therapy, particularly when it involves self-disclosure and introspection (Lynch et al., 2018). However, the consequences of not addressing mental health issues can be severe.

Men are more likely to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse, risk-taking behaviours, and even violence (Affleck et al., 2018). Unresolved mental health problems can also strain personal and professional relationships, leading to further isolation and distress. It’s crucial to challenge the stigma surrounding men's mental health and promote the idea that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Therapy can provide a safe, non-judgmental space for men to explore their emotions, gain insight into their thought patterns, and develop healthier coping strategies. It can help address a wide range of issues, including depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship problems, and low self-esteem (Orlando Health, 2023).

Moreover, therapy is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Alternative formats like coaching or online therapy may be more appealing to men who are hesitant about traditional face-to-face counselling (Berger et al., 2013; McKelley & Rochlen, 2007).

The key is finding a therapist or approach that aligns with individual needs and preferences. In conclusion, while the stigma surrounding men's mental health persists, it's crucial to recognise the importance of seeking support when needed. Therapy can be a powerful tool for personal growth, self-understanding, and overall well-being. By challenging outdated notions of masculinity and promoting open conversations about mental health, we can create a more supportive environment for men to prioritize their emotional well-being.

References:

Affleck, W., Carmichael, V., & Whitley, R. (2018). Men's Mental Health: Social Determinants and Implications for Services. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 63(9), 581–589. https://doi.org/10.1177/0706743718762388

Baker, C. (2018). Obesity Statistics. House of Commons Library. https://researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/SN03336/SN03336.pdf

Berger, J. L., Addis, M. E., Green, J. D., Mackowiak, C., & Goldberg, V. (2013). Men's Reactions to Mental Health Labels, Forms of Help-Seeking, and Sources of Help-Seeking Advice. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 14(4), 433–443. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0030175

Lynch, L., Long, M., & Moorhead, A. (2018). Young Men, Help-Seeking, and Mental Health Services: Exploring Barriers and Solutions. American Journal of Men's Health, 12(1), 126–139. https://doi.org/10.1177/1557988315619469

McKelley, R. A., & Rochlen, A. B. (2007). The Practice of Coaching: Exploring Alternatives to Therapy for Counseling-Resistant Men. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 8(1), 53–65. https://doi.org/10.1037/1524-9220.8.1.53

Office for National Statistics. (2022). Suicides in England and Wales: 2021 registrations. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/suicidesintheunitedkingdom/2021registrations

Orlando Health. (2023). Why Men Don't Go to Therapy. https://www.orlandohealth.com/content-hub/why-men-dont-go-to-therapy

Sagar-Ouriaghli, I., Godfrey, E., Bridge, L., Meade, L., & Brown, J. S. L. (2020). A Systematic Review of Barriers to Help-Seeking for Men Who Experience Intimate Partner Violence From Their Female Partners. Clinical Psychology Review, 78, 101851. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2020.101851

Scholz, B., Crabb, S., & Wittert, G. A. (2017). "Males Don't Wanna Bring Anything up to Their Doctor": Men's Discourses of Depression. Qualitative Health Research, 27(5), 727–737. https://doi.org/10.1177/1049732316649352

A Person-centred Approach

As a therapist, I firmly believe that person-centred therapy, developed by Carl Rogers and outlined by Catherine Jackson in her recent article in Therapy Today, is the foundation of my therapeutic approach.

At its core, it emphasises the importance of creating a genuine, empathetic, and non-judgmental relationship between the therapist and client. This relationship serves as the catalyst for personal growth and self-actualisation, which are central goals of the therapeutic process. One of the key reasons I love person-centred therapy is its ability to foster a deep sense of trust and connection between therapist and client. By providing unconditional positive regard, empathetic understanding, and authenticity, I create a safe and supportive environment where clients feel truly heard, accepted, and valued.

This nurturing atmosphere encourages clients to explore their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment or criticism, ultimately facilitating self-discovery and personal growth. Moreover, person-centred therapy seamlessly integrates with other therapeutic modalities, allowing me to tailor my approach to each client's unique needs and circumstances. For instance, when working with clients struggling with anxiety or depression, I may incorporate elements of cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) to challenge negative thought patterns and develop coping strategies. Similarly, for clients dealing with trauma or attachment issues, I may draw upon principles from psychodynamic or attachment-based therapies to explore underlying emotional wounds and relational patterns.

What sets person-centred therapy apart is its emphasis on the client's inherent capacity for self-direction and growth. By trusting in my clients' ability to find their own solutions and make positive changes, I empower them to take an active role in their healing journey. This collaborative approach not only fosters a sense of autonomy and self-efficacy but also strengthens the therapeutic alliance, as clients feel respected and valued as equal partners in the process. In my experience, the trusting relationship cultivated through person-cantered therapy serves as a powerful catalyst for change. When clients feel truly understood, accepted, and supported, they are more willing to engage in the difficult work of self exploration and personal growth.

This bond between therapist and client creates a safe space for vulnerability, emotional expression, and the exploration of deeply held beliefs and patterns, ultimately paving the way for lasting transformation. While person-centred  therapy is the cornerstone of my approach, I remain open to integrating various therapeutic techniques and modalities as needed. However, the core principles of empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard remain at the heart of my practice, guiding my interactions with every client.

Addressing the UK's Mental Health Crisis: Insights and Recommendations

The mental health crisis in the UK has been a growing concern, with various factors contributing to the worsening situation. To better understand the issue and explore potential solutions, let's delve deeper into the comparative analysis across different countries and the role of professional organisations in supporting mental health practitioners.

 Comparative Analysis of Mental Health Trends

A study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health found that the UK has one of the highest rates of mental health issues among high-income countries, with 17.7% of the population reporting a common mental disorder (CMD) (McManus et al., 2016). In comparison, the prevalence of CMDs in other countries is lower, such as 13.4% in Germany (Jacobi et al., 2014) and 14.9% in France (Pez et al., 2010). The Scandinavian countries, often lauded for their comprehensive social welfare systems, have generally lower rates of mental health problems. For instance, a study in the Nordic Journal of Psychiatry reported that the prevalence of mental disorders in Norway was 11.4% (Kringlen et al., 2001). Similarly, a survey by the OECD found that only 4% of Norwegians reported unmet needs for mental health treatment, compared to 22% in the United States (OECD, 2021).

These disparities can be attributed to various factors, including differences in social safety nets, access to mental healthcare, and societal attitudes towards mental health. For example, the UK's austerity measures and welfare cuts have been linked to the worsening of mental health outcomes (Barr et al., 2015) , while the Scandinavian countries' more robust social support systems may contribute to their relatively better mental health statistics.

The Role of Professional Organisations

Professional organizations, such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), and the British Psychological Society (BPS), play a crucial role in supporting mental health practitioners and advocating for improved mental healthcare in the UK.

The BACP, for instance, sets ethical standards for counselling and psychotherapy, provides training and professional development opportunities, and campaigns for increased funding and recognition of the importance of mental health services (BACP, 2023) . However, some experts argue that the BACP could do more to address the growing demand for mental health support and the challenges faced by practitioners. One area where the BACP could potentially enhance its efforts is in advocating for better working conditions and support for mental health professionals. A study published in the Journal of Mental Health found that burnout and job-related stress are prevalent among UK therapists, which can negatively impact the quality of care they provide (Hannigan et al., 2019) . The BACP could work to address these issues by lobbying for improved funding, reduced caseloads, and better access to supervision and self-care resources for practitioners.

Similarly, the UKCP and BPS could play a more active role in shaping mental health policies and ensuring that the voices of mental health professionals are heard in the policymaking process. This could involve collaborating with government agencies, healthcare organisations, and other stakeholders to develop comprehensive strategies for improving mental health outcomes in the UK.

Recommendations for Addressing the Mental Health Crisis

To effectively address the UK's mental health crisis, a multifaceted approach is necessary. This should include:

1. Increased investment in mental health services: The UK government should allocate more resources to expand access to mental healthcare, particularly in underserved communities.

2. De-stigmatization and public awareness campaigns: Efforts to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health issues and encourage people to seek help should be a priority.

3. Strengthening the mental health workforce: Measures to support and retain mental health professionals, such as improved working conditions and better access to supervision and self-care resources, are crucial.

4. Collaboration between professional organizations and policymakers: Organizations like the BACP, UKCP, and BPS should work closely with the government to shape mental health policies and ensure that the needs of practitioners and service users are adequately addressed.

5. Addressing social determinants of mental health: Tackling issues such as economic inequality, social isolation, and adverse childhood experiences can have a significant impact on mental health outcomes.

By implementing these strategies and leveraging the expertise of mental health professionals and their representative organisations, the UK could perhaps make more meaningful progress in addressing the growing mental health crisis and improving the well-being of its people.

References

McManus, S., Bebbington, P., Jenkins, R., & Brugha, T. (Eds.). (2016). Mental health and wellbeing in England: Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey 2014. NHS Digital.

Jacobi, F., Höfler, M., Strehle, J., Mack, S., Gerschler, A., Scholl, L., ... & Wittchen, H. U. (2014). Psychische Störungen in der Allgemeinbevölkerung: Studie zur Gesundheit Erwachsener in Deutschland und ihr Zusatzmodul Psychische Gesundheit (DEGS1-MH). Nervenarzt, 85(1), 77-87. 

Pez, O., Gilbert, F., Bitfoi, A., Carta, M. G., Jordanova, V., Garcia-Mahia, C., ... & Kovess-Masfety, V. (2010). Validity across translations of short survey psychiatric diagnostic instruments: CIDI-SF and CIS-R versus SCID-I/NP in four European countries. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, 45(12), 1149-1159. 

Kringlen, E., Torgersen, S., & Cramer, V. (2001). A Norwegian psychiatric epidemiological study. American Journal of Psychiatry, 158(7), 1091-1098. 

OECD. (2021). Health at a Glance 2021: OECD Indicators. OECD Publishing. https://doi.org/10.1787/ae3016b9-en

 Barr, B., Taylor-Robinson, D., Stuckler, D., Loopstra, R., Reeves, A., & Whitehead, M. (2016). 'First, do no harm': are disability assessments associated with adverse trends in mental health? A longitudinal ecological study. Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, 70(4), 339-345.

 British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. (2023). About BACP. https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-us/

Hannigan, B., Edwards, D., & Burnard, P. (2004). Stress and stress management in clinical psychology: Findings from a systematic review. Journal of Mental Health, 13(3), 235-245.

Tattooed with Meaning: How Ink Helped Me Cope with Loss and Find Transformation

I was thinking about what to write today, and quoting from last night's episode of The Apprentice, I think Claude said to one of the contestants in trying to dissuade them from embarking on a business clearly not allied to their core skills sets and experience, "do what you know about" - not an exact quote, but you get what I mean.

Now, I'm quite heavily tattooed, and other than my first tattoos and my first cover-ups, which were more about the style of tattoo I liked, the rest have had some kind of experience I have had or to mark a poignant time in my life. I won't go through all the meanings of my various tattoos, but the latest one, my tattooist Dave Bewick @davebewicktattoo completed yesterday, is the most poignant. The crow has a particular resonance in various cultures and belief systems, and the reason I chose crows for my latest tattoo is due to the connections with death and the afterlife, according to Swedish folklore. They also indicate transformation and change, as they are connected to the cycle of life and are a sign that positive changes or significant life events are on the horizon.

Anyone who has followed my posts and blogs over the past 2 years, and particularly more recently, knows that I have been working towards a new career change from NHS HR to self-employed HR consultant and the final shift towards qualified psychotherapist. During this time, I became the full-time carer for my father, who suffered from dementia and recently passed away at the end of February. The latest tattoo was to commemorate my Dad's passing, not because he loved tattoos - my Dad was not particularly pleased when I got my first tattoos at the age of 17. But he got used to them as they were very much a part of me and my identity, which he appreciated and loved.

The crow you see flying away is my Dad; the still crow is me, watching him flying away, away from the pain and difficulties he faced in seeing his sister deteriorate with the same condition, whilst trying to cope with his own frustration and loss of memory and ultimately independence, which he prized dearly. Both my Mum and Dad prized independence and individuality and, above all, kindness and humour, and instilled this in my sister and me, and we have both grown up to be defiant but ultimately kind and adventurous.

Please note, I am not advocating getting a tattoo - it's not for everyone, and despite growing acceptance and the entry of tattoos into mainstream fashion and culture, there is still significant stigma associated with them. But I have always loved them; the process of thinking about what to get and even the process of the needle against skin, where you kind of enter into a zen state of focus, where troubles you may be experiencing melt away as the needle touches skin, it's the ultimate distraction, and as the process goes on, you have to reach to mindfulness in order to move away from the physical pain.

Given my own experience with tattoos, I thought I'd look into it a bit about how tattoos more generally could have therapeutic benefits, and lo and behold, I've found the following positive affirmation that tattoos can provide significant therapeutic benefits for individuals dealing with trauma, loss, bereavement, identity issues, and isolation. There are four clear means by which therapeutic benefits may be explored:

Storytelling and Meaning-Making:

• Tattoos allow individuals to externalize their personal narratives and life experiences, serving as a "cathartic experience" for self-expression and meaning making.

• The process of choosing and getting a tattoo can be psychologically empowering, providing a sense of control over one's body and life.

Physiological and Psychological Effects:

• The rhythmic and repetitive nature of the tattooing process, combined with the release of endorphins, can have a calming effect on the nervous system and reduce stress.

• Repeated exposure to the tattooing process can increase pain tolerance over time, as the body releases natural painkillers.

• Tattoos have been associated with higher levels of body appreciation and lower anxiety about appearance, contributing to improved mental well-being.

Social Bonding and Community:

• Tattoos can facilitate social bonding and a sense of community, as they can serve as social markers that connect individuals with shared beliefs, interests, or experiences.

Therapeutic Applications:

• Tattoos can be used in clinical practice, such as in art therapy, to help trauma survivors process their experiences and manage unresolved aspects of traumatic events.

• Memorial tattoos can help individuals cope with grief and maintain connections with deceased loved ones.

• Tattoos can be a way for trauma survivors to reclaim their bodies and be seen, as well as a means of expressing memories and feelings.

In summary, the research suggests that tattoos can have significant therapeutic benefits for individuals dealing with various psychological and emotional challenges, including trauma, loss, identity issues, and isolation. The act of getting a tattoo and the meaning behind it can be a powerful tool for self-expression, healing, and community building. So, there you go, who knew? Thank you for listening to my story, and to fellow inked peeps, what do you think about this? What do your tattoos mean to you?

References

Atkinson, M. (2003). Tattooed: The Sociogenesis of a Body Art. University of Toronto Press.
The Register. (2017). Harvard, MIT boffins ink up with health-monitoring 'smart' tats. Retrieved from https://www.theregister.com/2017/09/29/health_monitoring_smart_tats/

Wohlrab, S., Stahl, J., & Kappeler, P. M. (2007). Modifying the body: Motivations for getting tattooed and pierced. Body image, 4(1), 87-95.

Gentry, J. W., & Alderman, D. H. (2007). Trauma written on the body: Tattoos, memorial, and healing. Tourism Geographies, 9(2), 161-169.

French, M. T., Robins, P. K., Homer, J. F., & Tapsell, L. M. (2009). Effects of physical attractiveness, personality, and grooming on academic performance in high school. Labour Economics, 16(4), 373-382.

Mantell, C. (2009). Marking Grief: Tattoos as Memorials. Anthropology News, 50(4), 12-13.
Trachtenberg, J. (1998). Tattoos as Memorials. Omega-Journal of Death and Dying, 37(4), 299-307.

Rohrer, J. (2007). Toward a full-bodied aesthetic of lived experience: Reflections on transformative justice in women's prisons. Women's Studies Quarterly, 35(1/2), 252-254.

Sarnecki, J. H. (2001). Trauma and tattoo. Anthropology of Consciousness, 12(2), 35-42.
Hewitt, K. (1997). Mutilating the Body: Identity in Blood and Ink. Popular Press.